those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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