I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
