i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
