Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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