why didn't you poke me back
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize