She announced her abortion via fbk
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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