im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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