we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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