things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
