dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
