White coat. Heels.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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