I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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