Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize