I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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