Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
