3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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