I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
