I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
