I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
