oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
