i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize