4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
