Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
