I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
two words: eviction party
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
