you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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