...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
