i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
