After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
