I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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