You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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