I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
