Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Drake has all the answers
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
