Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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