Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We don't watch enough power rangers
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
