new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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