i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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