Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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