I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
