Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
