That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
