after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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