Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize