you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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