I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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