hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
