Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is Oprah even human
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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