She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
