I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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