how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize