I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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