Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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