Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
