Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
