Sry I called you an 8
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize