This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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