dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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