Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
