google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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