if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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