Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
