Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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