Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
