Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
BRING THE BAGELS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
