just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
