drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize