This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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