you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
