so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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