I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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